I was just overwhelmed this morning at how blessed I am to have five wonderful children and a sweet husband. When I was young I don't know what kind of family I thought I'd have. I always wanted at least one girl but after 10 years and 3 boys I was actually content to be the mom of a bunch of boys. Then came our little Ally Jane followed by sweet little Julia and our family was complete.
I don't think I really ever thought I'd have 5 kids, but I did always expect to easily have my own. It didn't cross my mind that I wouldn't. I have several friends and some family who have struggled with not having the children they thought would just naturally come along. It's been a trial for many people that I love and sometimes I feel slightly guilty that I got the family that I have so easily, but I also feel very blessed. It's hard when life doesn't go according to our plan. It's hard to watch when friends and relatives have to go through heartache and deal with the loss of not having children come so easily to them.
I first got a glimpse of it when I married Rich. He's adopted. He was 6 months old when my in-laws got him. I have talked to Janet (his Mom) about the experience and even though she's always pretty tough about things and I know it was a tremendous blessing to her to get Rich, it was also very difficult to not have any of her own. She said that sometimes she felt like she was different than other women, broken if you will. Maybe not that she really felt that way, but that the comments of others made her feel that way. That made me sad. When I was pregnant with our kids it was fun to see her curiosity and wonder to feel the baby kick in my stomach, or to hear about my weird cravings. She never got to experience that. If you ask her now she will tell you she's grateful she didn't have to experience many of the things that come with pregnancy, especially the delivery, but in a way it is a loss of an experience that all little girls think they will have. I know she is happy with the wonderful son she got and is fine with having only him. Of course for some reason she doesn't think 5 grand kids is enough but I keep telling her I'm done!
It's been beautiful to follow the experiences of the people I know who have had to work hard to get their children. It's been amazing and very emotional to see Rich's cousins finally get their twins through a surrogate after IVF failed for them several times. Their excitement of every little thing the babies do is just adorable but understandable since this is the first and only time they will have the newborn experience. It has helped me to appreciate all the things my kids do at all of their stages of life a little bit more. It's been great to see a friend finally be expecting through IVF after it failed the first time. It's been fantastic to see friends adopt kids taken from bad situations and be given a loving home. All of these are such amazing experiences and are a testimony to me about how important and sacred family is. However we get our family, however big or small it is, it's always a blessing to cherish.
I am just so grateful for my goofy, silly, weird and wonderful husband and for my goofy, silly, weird and wonderful kids. I adore my family, all of them, all my parents, my brothers , sister, their families, my aunts and uncles, cousins, and grand parents. They have all blessed my life beyond measure. It's what this great plan of our Father's is all about to bring us happiness. I am happy!
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9 comments:
Beautiful! Thanks for sharing.
It leaves so much to wonder at...preganancy, infertility, children coming into certain families. Can be mind boggling to me. I'm glad I'm not in charge of all that :)!!
That's a beautiful post. It's so true that no one ever thinks having children will be difficult, yet so many do struggle. It's definitely life changing and humbling if you experience it. I am so grateful to have been "forced" into the position of realizing just how precious children are. I don't think, had we not gone through what we did, that I would have gotten it in the same way. God has absolutely given us a gift through infertility!
As I review each day I realize I very blessed I am. It has been and is an honor to be Richard's mother. He has always been a great kid and a wonderful son. Who could have ever imagine Heavenly Father would give me such a great gift. This gift includes Jill and the most talented, cute, smart, funny grandkids in the world. My grandkids are better than yours. Janet
I am feeling extremely blessed right now thanks to the fact it still hurts to sit, but also that I get to snuggle a sweet fresh little Angel. I, like you, didn't struggle at all bringing my children in the world and am realizing how hard it is with several friends waiting on others to choose them to adopt thier kids to-- makes me realize every child is a miricle and familys are so very special. I am glad I know more about you and your sweet family. Thanks for sharing.
I think for those who find it 'easy' to have children we often tend to take that gift of pregnancy and birth for granted. I was just looking at pictures of my children the other night and realizing how big they have gotten. Thank you for reminding us to enjoy the here and the now of this time. I know it will be gone WAAY too soon! Thanks for sharing~!
I am grateful for your goofy, silly, weird, and wonderful family too! However you get your kids you are blessed but when things go as planned it is a little easier:) I've told Luis we should stop planning things, God sees it as an opportunity to "teach" us:) Thanks for sharing! We love you guys!
Wow Jill you said that beautifully, I have often felt very similar feelings, and feel very blessed for the 5 that we have. And am so happy to see my friends and family who've been touched by adoption. I didn't realize Rich wasn't adopted until he was 6 months old!! He has an awesome Mom, I remember laughing with her and her comments cracking me up when we would visit, that must be where Rich gets his sense of humor.
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