The long and winding road...

As most everyone knows I have been training for the St George Marathon this past year. I can't believe I've come so far that I think I can actually finish it! Many people have asked me why I would be crazy enough to do this...hmmmmm. I have asked myself the same question many times, usually in the last mile of a long run.

I like to do things that are hard just to feel that I can do it. I know that sounds weird, but I like the sense of accomplishment. I have several goals that I just can't get to yet but running a marathon worked out to be the thing I could do now. I like that I am doing something. I like the lessons I learn along the way...the joy in the journey.

I have trained by myself so I have had a lot of time to think about things as I run. When I first started it didn't really take me long, I'd only last about 10 to 15 minutes before I was completely pooped. It took me months to work up to running a full mile without walking, then another few months to work up to two and three miles. From there I was able to add the distance faster and feel better. That also means I have hours of alone time to just think on some runs. Three and a half hours, for example, on my last long run.

I have thought a lot about how many things about running a marathon parallel lessons in life.

I don't run with anyone else, like I said, so I have no one to encourage me and push me farther when I feel like quitting. I had to learn to never think negatively because when I did I couldn't keep going but if I kept a positive attitude, sometimes just focusing on one step at a time, I could go farther. I have felt that way in my life. When things have been hard to deal with sometimes just getting by one step at a time got me through. Believe in yourself, think positively.

I also learned how incredibly important it's been for me to have my sister, who is also training for the marathon but lives in Utah, call me to encourage me. So many times I have felt like I couldn't do it and I wanted to give up the whole idea but then she would call me and tell me how proud she was at my progress and she'd give me advice about how to make it easier. Without her I wouldn't be able to have gotten this far. The same goes for Rich. He's been very supportive, always willing to take care of Julia in the mornings when I was out running, and always there to come get me when I couldn't make it any farther. He's been so excited for me and has always believed in me. The love of my family has gotten me through many difficult times. Family is important.

I learned that I had to change how I ate. What "fuel" you put in your body is how you perform. I didn't realize how bad I felt eating so much fast food until I started running. I started to crave healthy foods more and my treats...yes, my beloved ice cream...less. I have lost about 15 pounds, that wasn't on purpose, but I feel better. That got me thinking about what I am putting in my mind. Are there shows, movies, music, internet sites that are spiritual "fast food"? I started listening to church talks the first hour of running and been careful about the messages of the songs I listen to when I run and I've noticed a difference. I say my prayers and read my scriptures every day as I always have, but I think it's more meaningful now. What we put in is what we get out, physically and spiritually.

I learned the power of prayer, but also that God won't give us something just because we ask. We have to do all we can do and He'll make up the difference. My long runs are the hardest. The few weeks of running 14, 16, and 17 miles were discouraging. Some of those weeks I didn't make it as far as I wanted to. I got frustrated because before every run I prayed that I would be kept safe (I run along busy roads and of course there's the dog factor) and that I would be able to make my mileage goal. When I didn't make my goal for two weeks in a row I was frustrated. Then I realized that I wasn't eating as well as I should the few days before, or that I didn't prepare as well, or that I didn't have enough or the right kind of fuel to take with me to keep up my energy...I wasn't doing all I could. I had to study up on things to find out what I was doing wrong and what I could do better. On my last run of 20 miles I did all that I could. I felt so much better and when I started to hit that wall at 17 and 18 miles twice it was like a window opened up in my mind and the mental burden of feeling so tired was lifted and the thoughts kept coming to me that I could do it...just a few more miles. The thought of my little brother, who was on the cross country team before he died, came to me too. That he'd think it was pretty cool that I was doing this and that I could do it. It seems so insignificant, it's just a marathon I'm trying to run by choice, it's not a life or death matter or something that I have to do, but it is important to me and I am grateful that I am not insignificant to my Heavenly Father. Out of all the things going on in the world God notices my little efforts to accomplish this goal and is willing to give me the support I need when my own energy is spent. My Heavenly Father loves me.

The marathon is two and a half weeks away. I'm on the downhill side of my training now and I hope everything will go well and I'll finish the race...but how ever it goes I have enjoyed the journey.